Endowment Fund For College of Apostles Announced

Jerusalem 32 AD

Today, in a stunning announcement on a mount just outside of Jerusalem, Jesus of Nazareth announced the formation of a college of Apostles and a subsequent endowment campaign.  Jesus said, "Ya know, I preach parables all day long and these guys just don't get it!  I took them to a mountain top where Elijah and Moses and I all grew white as snow and these guys could only think about building a house or two.  I take them to a place in Bethany and raise Lazarus from the dead and all they can think about is some lady wasting money and oil.  Holy crackers! I just cannot believe that the apostles and fence posts have so much in common!"

So Jesus went on to explain that it was time to form a college of Apostles.  That is correct, he wants the apostles to go to college and learn some good stuff.  BUT, these are poor fishermen that ain't got a dime and so we need to raise funds for an endowment.  The current thinking of the son of Man is that this college will be set up and run from some silly out of the way place called Rome.  And when asked about the poor and the the destitute and the sick and the lame and the widows and orphans all Joseph's son could say was "You will always have the poor but these apostle guys need to wake up and smell the coffee.  How we gonna save the tax collectors and the adulterers if these apostles can't understand what I am saying.  No, these guys need to go to school, and there ain't no better place than Rome.  Don't believe me, just ask my father."

When asked about when Jesus thought this whole thing might get off the ground Jesus indicated that it would be sometime around the spring of 33 if the money changers would just give up some of there loot.  Jesus said, "there is a place in Rome called the Vatican that has been vacant for many years and we can get the whole kit and caboodle for a song."  "Once my apostles are thoroughly trained and fully educated with a bunch of new ideas on how to evangelize places like South America and Africa they (the apostles) will put my name up in flashing lights.  And after all, ain't that what we need most?"