Friday, February 6, 2009

Mr. Iker Gives The Store Away

Will wonders never cease?  And I thought for lo these many months we were dealing with uncompromising, evil, stiff-necked people who had not a decent bone in their body!  ME-A flippin' CULP-A!  Mr. Iker, in his continuing role as grand pooba of the Fort Wrath Conealonialists has now "returned to the Episcopal Church with his blessings and prayers" four, count them one, two, three and four parishes.  Here, in a magnificent gesture of incredible generosity is what he says, "
 The property of Trinity Episcopal Church, Fort Worth, and St. Martin-in-the-Fields Episcopal Church, Southlake, has been transferred into the name of the Rectors and Wardens of those parishes, respectively. The property of St. Christopher’s Episcopal Church, Fort Worth, and St. Luke’s Episcopal Church, Stephenville, will be transferred upon removal of financial encumberances in the form of building loans currently in the name of the Corporation. 

Let me see if I get this : I, Leo Jack Iker, renounced bishop and currently nobody of the nowhere church of the Southern Province,  am selling to you St. Christopher's and St Luke's the buildings and grounds, property that does not belong to me, just as soon as you pay me for the same.  I believe this deal is almost as good as the one Matt Kennedy offered the diocese of New York sometime ago when he offered to buy his church with the existing endowment of the Good Shepherd Episcopal Church.

To quote another blogger, "Holy crap on a cracker!" How can anyone pass up this  deal.  I am hopeful that the rectors, wardens and vestry members of these parishes virtually run to the banks and to the attorneys and close this deal before it gets away from everyone!  

Mr. Iker, have you lost it?  Can someone like the Presiding Bishop perhaps help you find it?  Do you need someone to help you fix your driveway that clearly does not run all the way to the street?  Have you been smokin' your socks or what?  Oh O - I see that word coming round the bend!  No, wait a minute, it is the magic bird!  And what is the secret word tonight?  I think it was the same word that Admiral Halsey used during WWII.  You must remember that -- I believe the word is NUTS!

(A tip of the old tam-o-shanter to both Desert Child and Father Christian.  Sheesh, this gets better all the time. No one, but no one could make this stuff up.)